The cookbook I've been writing will include an elderly vintage map, which needs neighborhood copy to go along with it.
Here is what I started with.
Madison Park: Old, white, Republican: Seattle's most constipated neighborhood.
Belltown: From its heyday in the grunge years to well into tomorrow, the only reason to come here is to score. The drugs, not the babes.
Queen Anne: This neighborhood makes me itchy. It needs some cul-de-sacs to go with all the NIMBYs.
ID: Home to the city's most depressing hobo population.
West Seattle: Uglist commercial district of any neigbhorhood, but deserves a Ms. Congenialty prize.
Fremont: Used to just be hippies, now it's hippies & sandwiches.
Ballard: I have lost friends to this neighborhood. They never leave.
University District: Every restaurant here has a serious roach problem. What, you didn't know?
Downtown: I have resented this area ever since I got a jaywalking ticket.
Capitol Hill: It used to be $5 bowls of noodles. Now it's $12 bowls of noodles.
Pioneer Square: What can you say about a 125-year-old neighborhood that died?
Columbia City: HEY! HEY! I'm TAWKING to you! Shit, it's the po-po!
Rainier Valley: Duck, and cover.