This morning I was planning on writing about a cake I invented last night, which is stupid good. That will have to wait, because before I sat down to write, I went and ate at Lunchbox Laboratory, and my brain is melting. Their fancy flashy website is mostly still waiting for content, so I will just link to the Yelp page.
Cap'n and I shared a $14 combo deal: Beef burger with sharp cheddar and balsamic hoisin; sweet potato fries; Mexican coke. The brother--the foolish, foolish brother--did not share or "accidently" drop the second half of his lunch on the ground. His involved prime beef and gorgonzola, tater tots, and a Nutella shake.
The burgers are indeed giant (like 1/2 pound, I think) and greasy--delicious to eat, deadly for digestion and post-lunch brain power and future health. The cheddar was super goopy-melty, the sauce pleasantly sweet and tangy, and the fries lava-hot and crisp. I ordered a Coke on the thought "oh god, I'll need some caffeine with this lunch" and got all squeally when it turned out to be the Mexican version that's still made with sugar and indescribably better than our normal HFCS American version. (I haven't seen that detail called out in other reviews, so maybe it's new or maybe nobody else drinks Coke when faced with so many fancy soda options). Brother's peppery, gorgo-cheese goodness was equally great, although the shake was too thin and he thought it was likely made with chocolate ice cream and hazelnut syrup rather than actual Nutella (I have no idea. Having only recently been cleared to eat hazelnuts without dying from them, I am still in Nut Opinion Kindergarten).
I also learned something either about myself or about a product (sometimes it's hard to tell): I don't really like Tater Tots. Or, I do, but I only like the crispy part, so I should just eat the product known as Crispy Crowns (sold as MexiNuggets at Taco Bell, if the Crown product is unfamiliar to you). I also don't like hashbrowns when they've only been browned on one side. Does anyone really like the mushy bleached-white frozen potato products like the center of Tots or the bottom of hash browns? Cap'n seems to think my opinion on this matter might be more of a character failing than an opinion, and I am willing to consider that as a possibility.
Everything reported about the bad layout is true. It's actually so bad, it feels like it was done on purpose, like the "laboratory" in the name is actually about how they mess with human brains rather than mess with burgers. They need to take out the wide tables inside and put in a lunch counter that runs along the exterior window; there is not room for someone to actually sit on each side of the table and it's dumb to have chairs there. That change would solve about 40% of the problems, but having specials and the regular menu in two different parts of the restaurant so you can't look at them simultaneously also seems like a bad choice. I don't mind having 80% of the tables outside, even though 15th is loud and ugly. I'm used to eating bad burgers in loud take-out situtations and it's nearly pure pleasure to eat a great burger without losing the crappy burger-stand ambience.
Final Lunchbox Lab verdict: Excellent, as long as you skip breakfast, share with someone, and don't have too many decisions to make or work to do in the afternoon.
